I wish I still got as excited about anything as James Lockhart apparently does about cinnamon-glazed nuts. Hey, only five bucks, I'd be stoked too.
You know you're clicking as a defense when the opposing offense has seven dudes lined up to block 5 rushers and you still throw a designed quarterback run for a loss.
"So hey, OB, I was rolling into work today in my brand new Chevy Silverado, thinking about receiver depth this year (fake laugh). That's our Liere Insurance Fargo's Pit BBQ David Gardner Jewelers topic this hour. Now, I know that we were concerned going in this year that there wasn't much behind Ricky and Speedy. But did you see this catch, presented by Caldwell Country Chevrolet just a conversation away come in and get a brand new Chevy Silverado, like I got (fake laughter intensifies). But did you see this catch by Jeremy Ta-BOOYAH?!?! (Laughter reaches near-maniacal pitch before suddenly and unsettlingly tapering off) That was a hell of a catch by Jeremy TABOOYAH brought to you by Mac Resource computers! Rib tips!"
~ Gabe Bock (probably)
I honestly cannot tell if this is brilliant play design, expert improvisation, neither or both. I've been watching this gif for like 10 minutes and my brain is broken. I think I can taste colors now.
Trevor Knight here doing an impression of me in a pickup basketball game after blowing a wide-open layup. "SHIT! Oh, you right. That's my b... OK you right." You just can't coach this kind of leadership, folks.
Once Daylon Mack figures out your snap count, you might as well just unstrap your helmet and take a seat on the bench. My favorite part of this play is how the guard tried to play it off, like he didn't just get pushed 5 yards into his own QB's lap. As if to say, "I know there are like 6 defenders in the backfield right now, but that's not my problem." Then he whiffed on another block! He's like Belgium in World War I, his only contribution is getting blown up and serving as a grave portent of things to come.
One of the perks of listening to Dave and Dave is that, even though you have to listen for like 18 minutes at a stretch to get some indication of the time remaining, score, the teams involved or the down or distance, I got to miss Matt Stinchcomb swear up and down that there was no holding on this play. That is some "5 Core Values™" level of delusion right there. Not only is it not a legal block, I'm not certain it would have even been a legal tackle.
Shaan Washington did an admirable job filling in as terrifying elder god in Myles Garrett's absence. He was all over the field, lining up at LB, DE, batting down passes, recording TFLs, bringing about a holocaust of flame and existential terror before retiring to his lair in R'lyeh to wait until his call again rings with the dread of every person living. Bang-up job, 33.
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